Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
