none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
