so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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