Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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