Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
