The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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