i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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