And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
