The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
two words: eviction party
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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