I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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