my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
