I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
