waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
