Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
