I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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