You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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