My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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