oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
