Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
how drunk are you?
Several
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
