This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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