She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
