This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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