How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
