I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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