there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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