i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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