Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
