One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize