is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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