gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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