so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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