Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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