Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
