I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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