you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
