Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize