I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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