we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
