so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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