That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My feet surprised me
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