Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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