Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
