Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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