He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
They have beer where we have blood.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
