waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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