We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
