you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
