Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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