8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize