So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
