38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize