Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
