lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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