I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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