He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
