i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
this will be a night to untag.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
