I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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