you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
