I should be sponsored by Trojan
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
