We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
