what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
