why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Text me some of your sweat
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
