You just made me feel so damn special
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
