She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
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I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
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And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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