I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize