Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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